Like Seriously?
by DramaticStarlet
Summary: Chad and Sharpay have a series of interesting conversations in various situations. ChadSharpay.
1. One Minute

_Like Seriously?_

_By Katie_

_Pairing: Chadpay_

_Rating: K+_

_A/N: I'm trying an all-dialogue fic like Literature Is Life. She is absolutely brilliant, so I thought I might give this a try as well. So thank you LIL for the idea. :) Oh, and I'm done centering my stories. Hehe._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Chad Danforth, Sharpay Evans, High School Musical, etc._

_-_

"Hello, Chad."

"Evans, did you just call me by my given first name?"

"What do you think, Smart One?"

"And so begins another witty conversation."

"Oh please, Danforth, you give yourself too much credit. You? Witty?"

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated."

"That wasn't sarcastic, imbecile."

"Did you just call me an imbecile?"

"I believe I did."

"Imbecile? That's the best you could come up with?"

"I'm having an off day, alright?"

"Evans, _please_. Your insults make people cry, and the best you can come up with imbecile? That's a 1920's insult!"

"Are you trying to annoy me?"

"Is it working?"

"This isn't amusing."

"Really? I find it pretty funny."

"Then again, someone with the your IQ might find something like annoying me 'funny' or 'cute' or 'dope' or whatever you basketball freaks say."

"See! That, my friend, was a legitimate insult."

"Whatever."

"Whatever?"

"Whatever, whenever, wherever."

"Kinky."

"Get your head out of the gutter, Danforth."

"I like it where it is, thank you."

"Can I leave you now? I tire of your company."

"Do you have to talk like a character in a Shakespearean play?"

"Does it..._bother _you?"

"Sort of."

"Then yes, I do have to talk like Romeo and Juliet."

"..."

"Speechless, Danforth?"

"I ran out of things to say."

"Lovely. Goodbye Danforth."

"Goodbye Lady Macbeth."

"That's really not funny."

"Really? It's not?"

"Lunch is almost over. You have 60 seconds left to bother me."

"Glad you love me so much, _Shar_."

"58."

"Kiss me, you fool!"

"What?"

"I've always wanted to say that."

"Whatever. 54."

"Hey, wait-"

"51."

"Stop it, Evans."

"49."

"I said stop."

"Does it look like I care? 48."

"Are you using a new conditioner?"

"...What?"

"Your hair looks shinier."

"Don't try to butter me up."

"I'm not trying to. Just wanted to let you know that the glare off of your head is blinding me."

"That's absolutely fascinating. You know Danforth, I admire your own choice of hairstyle."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"No, really. I hear it's hard to pull off the whole weeds-in-your-front yard-look-better hairstyle."

"You know what-"

"38. Tick-tock."

"I think I'd rather talk to Gabriella."

"Oh please! That Goody Two-shoes has _nothing _on me."

"Must you be so ego maniacal?"

"Must you act so intellectually inferior to me?"

"I'm leaving."

"No, Danforth, wait!"

"Oh, NOW you want to talk to me."

"Danforth, _please_."

"Evans, really. We can continue this conversation tonight. I see you every night."

"Yes, but, who else will I insult for the next...22 seconds?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine."

"But-"

"Bye, Sharpay."

"...Bye Chad."

"You know, I kind of like this first-name thing?"

"Don't get used to it."

_-_

**:) So. Please no "so cute" or anything reviews. Chadpay isn't cute...it's so much more!**


	2. Because I'm Fabulous

**-because i'm fabulous-**

**chadpay.**

**(part two of "like seriously?)**

-

"Oh. My. God. Danforth, what in God's name have you done to your head?"

"I shaved my head Evans, what does it look like?"

"Oh Danforth."

"Oh _Evans_."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Only because you're mocking my sweet new 'do."

"Danforth, just because I said I hated your old hair didn't mean I actually meant it!"

"...You think I shaved my head because I wanted you to like me better?"

"Well...yeah..."

"You are such a conceited little brat, Sharpay.

"We've established this many times.

"MICHAEL SEATER!

"WHERE?!"

"So you do watch Life With Derek!!"

"..."

"Admit it, Evans, _youuuuu _watch Life With Derek!!"

"SABRINA BRYAN!"

"WHERE?!"

"So you do watch The Cheetah Girls!"

"..."

"_I don't wanna be like Cinderella, sitting in a dark cold dusty cellar, waiting for somebody! To come and set me free!_"

"..._A new school, a new house, so many changes it makes my head spin! Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin! This is life with Derek!_"

"...Truce."

"I thought Sharpay Evans didn't initiate truces."

"I thought Chad Danforth wouldn't shave his head."

"Chad Danforth resents that."

"Sharpay Evans refuses to refer to herself in third person like a freak."

"Sharpay Evans just referred to herself in third person which highly amuses Chad Danforth."

"Sharpay Evans-er, I mean, I know your full name and I'm not afraid to use it."

"You wouldn't."

"I would..._Julius_ _Chadward_ Danforth."

"You did not just bring out my full name."

"I believe I did, _Julius Chadward_."

"...Why can't you have an embarrassing full name?"

"Because my parents are actually halfway normal?"

"I told you already, Julius is my dad's middle name and Chadward was one of my mom's favorite characters in some Michael Crawford thing."

"Yeah sure. I think you secretly like your name."

"No, I really don't."

"Aww, poor Danforth and his nerdy name."

"Aww, poor Sharpay having the same name as an ugly dog."

"That was a low blow."

"..."

"Quit laughing, it's not funny."

"Not the dog thing. Just...how that...sounded..."

"Ew, Danforth, why are you so perverted?"

"Because I'm fabulous."

"And apparently queer."

"Hey, isn't your brother gay?"

"...Sometimes I wonder."

"That's not nice."

"You started it, Danforth, you started it."

"Sure I did."

"Omigod, Danforth, your hair. Your _hair_."

"Evans this is really bothering you isn't it?"

"..."

"You have tears in your eyes!"

"You're hallucinating. Lay off your meds."

"Aw, Sharpay. You're crying."

"NO I'M FREAKING NOT!!"

"Shar..."

"I'm not crying."

"Why are you so upset about my hair?"

"Because...because..."

"Because you thought my hair was sexy."

"..."

"Aw, Shar."

"..."

"Hair grows back, you know."

"But it won't be your old hair." 

"I'm sorry Shar. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I dunno."

"...Well this is weird."

"What?"

"Think about it Sharpay. You never cry."

"I do so."

"Name one time."

"..."

"And yet you cry about my hair."

"Just forget about it, Danforth."

"Okay, Shar."

"Danforth?"

"Hm?"

"Don't call me Shar anymore."

"Okay _Shar_."

"Fine, be that way..._Julius Chadward_."

"...I'm just gonna shut up now."

-

**:) Don't ya love Chadpay?**


	3. Don't Even

**-don't even-**

**chadpay.**

**(part three of "like seriously?")**

-

"Danforth, you are such an a-"

"Evans, you have such a colorful tongue in the morning."

"Oh, I'm gonna show you colorful, you arrogant little-"

"Sharpay, we're in an elementary school mentoring little kids. You can't just cuss out loud."

"Oh puh-leeze, these little brats need a dose of reality anyway."

"Ahem, I think you're forgetting the fact that you need a reality check yourself."

"I hate you."

"You didn't hate me last night."

"..."

"Aw, you're blushing, how cute, Evans."

"You're such a perv."

"Excuse me? I'm the one who had to endure your endless parade of _hate _last night..."

"Okay, that's not something that needs discussed in an elementary school."

"Are you embarrassed?"

"No!"

"Said that a little quickly, didn't you?"

"Danforth, go do us all a favor and play in traffic. Sounds like fun, right? With all the cars and buses...if you get there quick you might even see a taxi! How exciting!"

"Why are we always fighting?"

"Because that's _us _and that's our thing. Troy and Gabriella have study sessions, Ryan and Kelsi write musicals, and we _fight_."

"I'm tired of fighting."

"Quit instigating a fight, then."

"Sharpay, you're the one that instigates them in the first place."

"Oh, don't even go there."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because if you really hated us fighting so much, then why do you fight back? Huh? What's that? You don't know why?"

"Whatever. I'm out."

"Out of what?"

"I'm out of witty comebacks and hate and...God, you really don't get what I'm trying to say, do you?"

"Hm, let me try to interpret this...your bologna has a first name and it's O-S-C-A-R? Throw me a bone here, Danforth, because I'm not reading what you're saying."

"Oh forget it."

"I'm not going to _forget about it_! And what is that freaky little shrimp over there staring at? Take a picture, it'll last longer you little weirdo!"

"Leaving."

"Don't leave."

"I'm leaving."

"Tell me."

"You'll laugh."

"I won't laugh, Danforth. You actually look upset."

"Shar, I...what I'm trying to say here is..."

"Is? Is you're breaking up with me? Is you're hot for Ryan? Is what?"

"I'm trying to say that-"

"That?"

"Quit interrupting!"

"Why?!"

"God, because I'm trying to say that I love you!"

"Say it then!"

"I love you!"

"There. Are you glad you have that off of – you love me?"

"Yes."

"...I don't know how to do that back, Chad."

"Yes you do."

"I...do?"

"Yeah, you did it last night."

"You mean...that was...love?"

"Um...yes..."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Then I love you too, Danforth."

"I love you."

"Hmm...Chadpay..."

"What?"

"Our names sound like some awful brand of perfume if you combine them."

"Fascinating."

"Danforth?"

"Evans?"

"Kiss me."

-

**I'm not saying it was good, but I am saying this all-dialogue thing is sorta fun.**

**Please no "so cute" or anything...Chadpay is much more!!**


	4. Randomness

**-randomness-**

**chadpay.**

**(part four of "like seriously?")**

-

"Evans, here's your hideously pink iPod. You left it at my house."

"My iPod is not hideous!"

"Yeah it is, it looks like a glitter gun attacked it."

"There are Swarovski crystals on this iPod, thank you very much, that I paid very good money for."

"I paid good money for your birthday present and I don't see you carrying that around."

"Yes, but your birthday present to me was dog food."

"Your point?"

"What use do I have for dog food, Danforth?"

"Eat it, of course. You are a _Sharpay_."

"The breed of dog is spelled with an i and not a y, and I don't look like dog, nor do I act like – wait a minute."

"Yes?"

"Was my birthday present a reason to call me a female dog?"

"Ha, no, I just thought it would be funny to get you dog food."

"It wasn't funny."

"I thought it was hilarious."

"You would."

"So what songs do you have on your iPod, Evans?"

"Oh, you know the – GIVE IT BACK!"

"Oooh, what's this, Sharpay has..._I Want Candy _by Aaron Carter? Ohh, this is great."

"Danforth, _give it back _NOW!!" 

"Calm down, Princess. Hm, who's the Corbin Bleu guy? Why does he have a song called _Push It To The Limit_?

"Don't listen to that!"

"..."

"Danforth, please, put the headphones down now and I won't have to kick your sorry rear from here to Phoenix."

"...Wow, Evans. This guy has some serious issues. I wonder if this song is about him and girl girl getting it-"

"JULIUS. CHADWARD. DANFORTH. Gimme the freaking iPod now or so help me God I'll go to Principal Matsui and tell him that you were the one who de-pantsed Darbus."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me, Danforth, try me."

"Okay, okay, here's the iPod – hey, what's this? _Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire_?"

"...I can explain that..."

"I don't want to know."

"But-"

"DON'T want to know."

"Let me see _your _iPod, Danforth."

"Okay, fine, here."

"..."

"You see, Evans, I have no stupid songs-"

"Cuppycake? You have the cuppycake song?"

"...Um, no?"

"_You're my honeybunch, sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you're my sweetie pie_!"

"Evans, shut up, my sister put that on there."

"_You're my cuppycake, gumdrop, you're the apple of my eye_!"

"..."

"_And I love you so, and I want you to know that I'll always be right here..._"

"Shar, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, this song just reminds me of someone I know."

"Really?"

"Who?"

"You."

"..."

"..."

"_And I love to sing sweet songs to you, because you are so dear_, Shar."

"Chad, nobody finds out about this, right?"

"Scout's honor."

"Good. Now come on, Cuppycake, I think it's time that you buy me a new birthday present."

"Oh. Joy."

-

**This one's not funny, but I just felt like writing some sort of playful, sweet Chadpay fluff instead of them being cruel to each other.**

**Please review with something more than "so cute!" or "i loved it"...Chadpay is so much more!!**


End file.
